August. It's August & I'm getting depressed. I always do, when the last month of Summer arrives. *sigh* Since I am a teacher, these 3 months of Summer are treasured, beloved, and full of a heady freedom to spend every day with my children.
I love what I do - teaching is not so much a vocation, or job, as a passion... and I am passionate about it. : ) I want my students to be the very best people they can be & to learn as much as they possibly can in my class. I want them to be as passionate about learning as I am about teaching, although that rarely happens. As I look forward to a new year, I have this anticipation mixed with the wistfulness tied to the end of another Summer. I am hoping to be the best teacher I can be, and it plays in the back of my mind all the time - things I can change, improve, tweak to make the lessons better, more understandable, more interesting. But the biggest problem for me is the motivation that many students are lacking. There is little intrinsic motivation to complete work outside of my classroom & I don't know how to instill that so the motivation lasts beyond the bell at the end of the hour... but I'm working on it & not giving up. I keep thinking if I can present lessons that are intruguing & inspire deeper thinking, the students will want to "figure it out". : )
As this summer draws to a close, our lives are in turmoil, although we keep it together quite well. I'm dreading the regimented, bell-run life that is coming, and how it will affect my life/exercise/diet. It's not my very favorite way of running my life - I'm a free spirit. : ) It is difficult to work out after school because I am always exhausted after the day & it also depends on Tim working.
Tim has been a substitute custodian for the last 6 - 7 years in the school district where I teach & was home with our children until they started school. Last year, Makenzie started Kindergarten, so we thought Tim would find a full time job, but we kept hearing rumblings that there may be retirements in the custodial staff, so Tim kind of waited... and there were retirements, and there is one position open. We are waiting to see what happens, and that leaves so very many things up in the air, unknown. We don't know the hours he'll be working, the days, or how it will affect us as a family. I am praying it will be, at the very least, just 11 - 7 pm, not 3 - 11, or we will never see him, especially if he has to work every Saturday as well. I don't know if I can take it if I never see Tim... and if the kids don't get to see him every day... I will literally go crazy. *sigh* I'm a free spirit, but "wait and see" is such a hard way to live everyday... I imagine the relief when the decision is made & done & over with will be unbelieveable. Additionally, the financial burden we have been under will evaporate ~ at least a little... and that will be lovely in itself!
I weighed myself today, and the scale told me 231.4!! I have not seen that number since 2002. Now that I "put it out there", I'll probably gain 3 lbs, but I was so dang happy to see it. I'm down about 5 lbs from the start of July ~ I just pray I can keep going!! 5 more lbs in August would be amazing & would put me at my pre-pregnancy weight of 226. I haven't run for 2 days - it sucks. Thursday was rainy & sucky outside, so I just didn't go, although I should have. Yesterday was a CrAzY day of running & running & running - I had to go to town to drop off an overnight bag, run to school, run to a friend's house (only to realize they are on a trip - duh!), tried to stop by another friend's on the way home - they were out shopping, and then after calling to chat with my Mom, running home to get Makenzie & then bringing her to my parent's house so she could sleep over there. Whew!!! By the time I got home, it was after 9 & dark - too dark for me to feel safe running by myself, and Heather wasn't able to go last night. So, with that said, I will need to get out there tonight. I'm thinking I need to join a Health Club in town so I can use it right after school. Let the investigation begin! I need something that has a playplace for the kids while I exercise, or it isn't going to work, for I am sure I will have kids every single day after school if Tim gets a job... I'll have to see what I can find.
And now, I need to get this house in order & live it up while I still have some Summer days left! My carefree days are dwindling down to give way to the excitement of the start of school... and when it does, let the stress, and the fun, begin!
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